That's too expensive!

I know these posts are coming out really fast, but I need to write all these posts in order, and I need to get to The Challenge because I'm already a couple days late. Ahhhh!

Anyway, on to the topic of this post. My lovely sister Big Sis started this program called Dressing Your Truth (DYT) about a year ago, give or take a month or two. She learned all about the four types that Carol Tuttle teaches in her program (1: bright, animated; 2: soft, subtle; 3: rich, dynamic; 4: bold, striking).

Big Sis, a type 2, started dressing different, she started dressing her truth. She began wearing clothes that fit her inner expression better. She learned how to do her hair and makeup to match her inner expression.

Her type 2, subtle, soft, flowing nature needed to be manifested in her outward appearance in order for her to feel herself. She became more confident and more natural. She is more understanding of others. She has become a more complete version of herself. She had presence before, but now she really holds her own.

Those who know her certainly noticed the difference DYT made in her life. And if you didn't notice, you certainly heard all about it. :D Big Sis loves talking about the four types and is always willing to share her knowledge. She shared several youtube videos with me on the subject. If you're interested, you can youtube Dressing Your Truth and several videos of Carol Tuttle and DYT come up.

I was a little familiar with the program because I had some prior exposure to a similar one a few years earlier. I knew enough about the basics of the program that I could tell you my type right away. I didn't have access to the unlimited resources Big Sis had, because I didn't buy the course. I thought I knew enough about it that I didn't need to spend the money on it. I'm a poor college student; give me a break.

Next thing I know, my sister-in-law Jeighbee gets the course. I watch as Big Sis and Jeighbee change before my eyes. They go from beautiful women, to beautiful, confident, strong women. I admit I was a little jealous of them. They were part of this club together where they got to learn about themselves and how to live and dress according to their true natures. Every month they met up with other women in the area who would come together to celebrate their strengths and beauty. They made lots of friends in DYT, and they now have a creative outlet.

Up Next on Discovering Me: watch for The Relief of Society and That's Still too Expensive.

The First Steps to Self Discovery Part 2

My original post was this one and Part 1 together, but that is so super long. So I broke it up at a relatively good place to break.

Last year I was really quite dependent. I was uncomfortable driving, so whenever possible, I got other people to drive for me. I didn't like doing things alone, so I always had someone with me. I was dependent in other areas as well because I was insecure about driving and going places alone.

As I thought of things I could do to improve myself, I started trying to do things on my own. I made plans instead of always waiting for other people to make them. When I found a need to go somewhere I just went instead of waiting for someone to go with or to drive me. I continued making these small changes in my life even after Rex and I broke up. I didn't really tell anyone that I was aware of my dependency or that I was trying to overcome it, but I know that those closest to me noticed a difference in me even if they didn't know exactly what it was. I certainly noticed a difference in myself.

I was more confident and started doing things because I wanted to do them. I started owning up to my choices and my decisions. I started making decisions. I started doing things that took me out of my comfort zone. I had reasons for doing things; I had purpose to my life.

That fall semester I was taking a Doctrine and Covenants class. Reading the Doctrine and Covenants and learning about what the Lord wants from his saints was another critical influence on my road to independence. I learned that the Lord wants his people to be self reliant. I started thinking about what that means.

To me It means being more independent; obviously I'm still interdependent with Christ, but I can't be dependent on anyone else. I need to know things for myself. I need to be confident enough to do things for myself. I need to be spiritually self reliant. All of these things are important because the Lord requires his people to serve one another and to help each other. I realized that I can't do either if I am always so worried about myself. So I made changes.

Tune in next time to hear me say, That's too expensive!

The First Steps to Self Discovery

As promised, this post will cover the first things I discovered about myself.

I was watching Runaway Bride about this time last year. I had never seen it before, but I had been told a little about the plot. Basically, this woman has left several men at the altar because she doesn't know herself. The main guy of the movie figures this out about her. He asks each of her grooms how she likes her eggs; one says "the same way I do, scrambled," another says, "the same way I do, fried," this happens with all the grooms. This woman was so unsure of herself that she never took the time to really decide anything.

At first I thought it was silly that she couldn't say how she liked eggs, but then I realized that I wasn't so different. There were things about me that I had never figured out or decided. For example, I never made plans. I would purposely keep my day free of any plans other than school and work just in case my boyfriend suddenly had free time and wanted to spend it with me. This rarely happened. What did happen was that I sat at home bored out of my mind, thus being forced to watch movies by myself (Runaway Bride).

I didn't understand why my boyfriend (we'll call him Rex) always had other plans than spending time with me. He would plan to do things with his buddies. He started suggesting I plan things with my roommates because friends are vital to survival. I was a little annoyed at this but I soon relied on the times I spent with my roommates. I usually spent more time with them then I did with Rex, which at the time, I didn't think made any sense.

While I sat at home with nothing to do, I started realizing that I was wasting my time waiting. I was waiting for a text or a phone call that was never coming; I was waiting for something important to happen to me, but it never did. One day, it hit me that I could be doing productive things while I waited, things that would help me to improve.

And that started my journey. Stay tuned.

The Journey

Hi.

I am making a comeback to the blogging world.

I have been searching and searching for something that I have lost, or perhaps, I never really had it. I didn't realize I was missing it until about a year ago. It occurred to me that I was missing a very crucial part of my being. I was missing myself.

I began my search for me just under a year ago. I was in a relationship, but it wasn't working out so well. I couldn't figure out why it wasn't working. I mean, come on, I was trying my best to be everything this guy wanted me to be. What I didn't see was that he wanted me to be myself. I hadn't ever thought that I was not being myself. I guess I didn't really know what it meant to be myself.

Through the relationship I was in, I discovered that until I figured out who I was and what I wanted, I would never be able to be in a relationship. After all, isn't being in a relationship merely just being yourself with someone else? The most important thing I learned was that I would never believe that other people truly cared about or liked me until I truly cared about and liked myself. This started me wondering, who am I?

I never really met myself. Would I find myself likable? Would I be friends with myself? Would we like the same things, have the same interests? These questions were some of the things I asked myself as I prepared to meet myself. I mean, who was I expecting to meet? The me I did know didn't like having opinions because she didn't like confrontation or arguments. She found it much safer to hold back all judgments and opinions because then she never had to worry.

To be continued...

Next time on Discovering Me:

Find out what one of the first things I learned on my journey to meeting myself was.

I am going to review my experiences on this blog. You lovely followers get to experience what it's like to be me. Lucky you. I have come a long way in the past year and I hope to write about the experiences I've had since then, but more importantly I am currently involved in some other study opportunities where I get to know myself even better. YaY! Stay tuned for the fun adventure!

Catching UP

I am really bad at this whole blogging thing. I need to be better, but I get so caught up in myself... jk ha.

Anyway, This has been an eventful long time. Since my last post, in no particular order:

~ I gained two nieces, and two sisters-in-law

~ I gained weight

~ I went to California, Las Vegas, and Seattle

~ I went canoeing

~ I sang in public

~ I joined Netflix for 14 days and then unjoined

~ I bought myself some good books

~ I made myself some t-shirts

~ I made 5 little girl dresses

~ I wore a skirt as a shirt

~ I went to two movies at midnight

~ I went on a shopping spree

~ I ate a 12 egg omelet

~ I discovered the exciting world of MLIA not MILA (:P)

~ I started watching Psych (I love pineapple)

~ I picked up a habit of eating lunch on the floor in the hallway

~ I drove to Salt Lake City and back all by myself

~ I got a little tan

~ I talked on the phone for more than an hour

~ I scored 141,550 on Bejeweled Blitz

~ I picked a fork up off the ground with my teeth

~ I played dress up with my roommates

~ I cried

~ I wore a paper mustache... twice

~ I climbed a tree

~ I discovered that I can graduate in April

~ I went on a lot of dates

~ I went to Ikea

~ I followed my roommate through France... via her blog

~ I read a morbid book about doomed queens

~ I read Persuasion

~ I read Wuthering Heights

~ I participated in the Coryse Olympics

~ I memorized my student number

~ I bought my first pair of running shoes

~ I "inherited" the car

~ I've been getting up before 8 on a regular basis

~ I went shooting

~ I got a calling in the relief society

~ I hiked a mountain

~ I saw a waterfall

~ I got an ipod

~ I got a little grill... so domestic

~ I've been harshly insulted at work

~ I've been generously complimented at work

~ I laughed so hard my abs hurt

So that's more or less what I've been up to for the last few months. Good times, good times.

Here are a few more pictures to illustrate my life.

B Money all the way. Provo's number 1 rapper

I just think this one is funny. :P

Pictures!!!!

This is my hair cut and color. :D

okey dokey!

Time to catch up!

ITs the end of fall semester of my junior/3rd year at byu.

Im living at alta apt. awesomeness.

I love it here and i love my roomies! they are the bestest!

I am NOT dating anyone, contrary to some rumors or assumptions that may have been circulating at one point. :D

I discovered the joys of pandora.com

I made a book... a few times.

I turned 21... safely. Im not sure how you turn 21 unsafely but whatev.

I got a better job. I now work at a print center in the wilk. I love it! I work with my roommates too. I get paid more, more hours, More stability. and more inside-ness.

I made a doll with the aid of my mommy for my history of creativity class.

I was up for over 37 hours with no sleep the other day. It was fun... not afterwards though. Im still tired. since then i have had 9 hours...

I got my hair colored and cut. Its way dark and I love it!

Eliza can say my name... sorta. it sounds like this: "car-wee"

Theresa has not had her baby as of this moment. few days late... or a week or two. but i have been reassured that she is working on it! :D

That's whats happening in my life right now! :D

ps...i had a bunch of picture posted but they wont upload... i'll have to stick them in the next post.