Kids Say the Funniest Things

With my new job I have the pleasure of being around some of the cutest and funniest children ever. Their wit and intelligence will forever amaze me.

Occasion One:
One 5 year old: "Miss Boomer, are you married?"
Me: "Nope."
Another 5 y/o: "But what about your husband and your kids and your babies?"
Me: "I don't have any kids. or a husband."
Yet another 5 y/o: (to another one in a loud whisper) "That means she's a widow."
Me: "....." what!??! Bahaha "I've never been married."
And another: "Never? In your whole life??"
Me: I'm not that old! "Nope, never."

Occasion Two:
A few 6 y/o were feeling rather generous and drew me some lovely pictures to show their appreciation for me.
An eye.

I'm rather partial to the spelling of rock here, or perhaps they literally meant I rook. In that case I am forced to understand that they meant I a) resemble a castle, not unlike a chess piece; b) resemble a bird of the crow family, distinguished by the grey-white skin around the base of the bill under the eyes; c) am a painful ear piercing; or d) am great at a certain card game. I haven't decided which is most flattering yet.

This is my new laptop. "If you push this button the guy will dance like this."

Occasion Three:

A 10 y/o drew this picture for me--so exquisite.

This 10 y/o also told me I rock, I believe children like to compliment substitute teachers with this particular phrase.

Occasion Four: 

A 14 y/o found out my last name and made the connection to a Percy Jackson character. I told them Chiron was my grandpa and they were stunned. Later that kid asked me if I was serious or if I had been joking about Chiron being my grandpa. hehe

Occasion Five:

A fireman came to visit the children and teach them about not hiding from or being afraid of firefighters. By popular demand I was volunteered to put on the gear. Here I am high-fiving the children. That stuff was so heavy.

Here's a cool badge I got 'cause there were extras.

Occasion Six:

We were outside playing on the grass when a 4 y/o asked me to tell a story. 

Me: "What story?"

4 y/o: "A Deer Hunting Story."

Me: .... "There once was a deer named Bambi..."

4 y/o: "Tell me another story."

Me: "What do you wanna hear this time?"

4 y/o: "Three Bears"

I proceed to tell him the story.

4 y/o: "Tell me a deer hunting story."

....

Occasion Seven:

I was out retrieving a few 4 y/o from the bus when Girl A gets dropped off by her mom. Boy comes running off the bus and says "I love Girl A." When Girl B comes off the bus and walks over, Boy points at Girl B and says "He's my girlfriend." "I love both of them." To the girls he says "I love both of you." Bahaha.