SP-SP-SP-SPIDER!!!!!!!

So, it wasn't exactly a spider, but...it was a really big bug and it was hissing at me!

You know when spiders do this...

well that's what this really large cockroach-thing was doing. (maybe it was a Madagascar Hissing cockroach that escaped Fear Factor and was wreaking havoc all over the country!)

Here's what happened...

I went to take the dogs out last night and I opened the door and stepped outside, and on our steps right in front of me was this huge brown-black thing hissing at me. I couldn't see exactly what it was because it was dark, it was directly facing me, and it was reared up on its hind legs. I decided it was one of those really huge poisonous spiders and that it was spitting poison at me. So, I immediately ran inside and yelled for Theresa. She came downstairs, looked out the window, and tried to tell me it is a water beetle. I didn't believe her because giant cockroaches don't spit poison, and they don't get up on their hind legs like that. She continued to insist it was a water beetle, so I looked through the peep hole and I saw that it was infact, a giant cockroach. So I told her there is no way she was getting me out there to get rid of it. She made a comment about wishing Dan were here, and then mentioned that we should get Seth to come take care of it. But, she was brave and took a broom and went out there. I made her close the door in case it could fly. She whacked it pretty good then used the dust pan to get it back up on the sidewalk then she whacked it again and it wasn't putting up any resistance( 'he stopped moving kish') and then she whacked it again and dust-panned it down the sidewalk away from the house. After all that, she still made me take the dogs out. So I made her stay there and make sure there weren't any more giant cockroaches ready to attack. It was very scary and luckily I didn't have nightmares. When I went to take the dogs out again this morning, the giant cockroach was still on its back where Theresa left it. Its legs were still moving--gross! (Those things survive everything. Just ask Wall~E) It is now gone, and I don't know where it is. I just hope it doesn't come back for revenge...

Disclaimer: I was going to take a picture of it after I took the dogs out this morning, but when I was bringing them back inside, it was gone. So, neither of these pictures were taken by me; I googled for them.